FRANKFURT—After a closed-door meeting lasting nearly 40 minutes, leaders of the German Football Association (DFB) confirmed Wednesday that, despite initial hopes, refusing to play soccer in the United States is unlikely to single-handedly restore democracy or bring about sweeping social change.

Rumors swirled earlier this week that DFB officials had considered boycotting the 2026 FIFA World Cup, to be hosted by the United States, Mexico, and Canada, in response to former President Donald Trump’s political reemergence and evolving American policies. “While we were excited to finally topple authoritarianism through an act of mild sports inconvenience, we concluded that skipping a few football matches would probably not trigger a constitutional crisis in the U.S.,” said DFB spokesperson Klaus Hintermann, sighing audibly during the press conference.

Other Federation officials expressed disappointment that their historical legacy would not include forcing regime change through the power of the long ball. “We imagined future generations would thank us for saving the free world by refusing to play Honduras in Cincinnati,” said executive board member Ute Meier, “but ultimately, it turns out democracy may require slightly more complicated measures.”

Sources confirm a backup plan briefly considered involved sending the team to Florida armed with strongly worded banners and passive-aggressive midfield play. Team captain Lars Vogel confessed, “Honestly, I just want to play soccer and eat some American hot dogs. I’m pro-human rights, but also pro-buffet.”

DFB leaders ended the meeting by pledging to keep considering vague, potentially symbolic gestures in the future, in the hopes that one of them will eventually change the course of history.