CANBERRA — The Australian government has bravely resisted calls to limit bureaucrats’ business-class flight privileges, declaring that public servants require optimal lumbar support to perform the complex mathematics of fiscal responsibility.

Despite a scathing review suggesting that business-class should only be booked for flights longer than three hours, the Department of Finance announced it would not be jeopardizing the nation’s efficiency by expecting officials to wrestle with spreadsheets from the trauma-inducing confines of economy.

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese underscored the commitment to smart spending. “We must always pursue value for money,” Albanese explained from the comfort of a seat that transforms into a fully-flat bed. “And the true value of a well-rested bureaucrat is incalculable. Besides, turbulence can really throw off delicate calculations.”

Senior Assistant Secretary Beverley Tucks called economy class a “threat to Australia’s decision-making integrity. Have you ever tried drafting climate policy with a screaming toddler behind you and a seat that reclines a tragic three degrees?”

A finance department spokesperson assured taxpayers that all flights, regardless of duration, will continue to receive robust gold-standard oversight. “It’s impossible to compare hotel minibars or in-flight meal options accurately without the proper legroom,” said the spokesperson, requesting anonymity in case they were forced to board a Qantas flight in row 32.

In related news, the government is reportedly studying the cost-effectiveness of first-class train travel between Canberra and Sydney, for those requiring uninterrupted caviar-fueled focus.