LOS ANGELES—Claiming a climate of fear not seen since the advent of the kale smoothie, actor Robert Davi revealed Tuesday that conservatives in Hollywood now communicate exclusively via coded language, secret handshakes, and limited-edition Ronald Reagan commemorative iPhone cases.

“It’s like living in a spy thriller, but with more Pilates,” lamented Davi, best known for his seminal role as Third Henchman in ‘Licence to Kill.’ “Last week, I tried to audition for a movie, and instead of a script, they handed me a tofu-based non-disclosure agreement. I was asked if I supported ‘the Star Wars prequels’—I knew that was code. I panicked and dropped my miniature flag pin.”

Multiple industry sources confirmed the existence of a shadowy underground network comprised primarily of C-list actors and the guy who once played ‘Journalist #4’ on ‘Scandal.’ “You haven’t really experienced fear until you’ve whispered ‘tax cuts’ while ordering a soy latte,” said anonymous extra ‘Randy.’ “I had to wear a Bernie Sanders pin just to feel safe at craft services.”

Meanwhile, studio executive Linda Braddock said, “Sure, we blacklist conservatives, but mostly because they’re always trying to reboot ‘Walker, Texas Ranger.’ At this point, the only approved conservative opinions are liking the first ‘Top Gun’ and thinking taxes are ‘maybe a bit high.’”

At press time, Davi was reportedly seen passing a classified memo—disguised as a Chick-fil-A napkin—across the set to fellow traveler Scott Baio.