WASHINGTON—In a closely contested vote that showcased the very best traditions of American foreign policy, the House of Representatives rejected a resolution Tuesday that would have barred former President Donald Trump from sending U.S. troops to Venezuela, officially reaffirming his constitutional right to wake up one morning and choose a new nation to destabilize.

“If a former president can’t randomly deploy military force wherever he wants, what does that say about our democracy?” asked Rep. Doug Gibbons (R-TX), one of 217 lawmakers who voted against the measure. “We fought for the right to project power without consequence.”

Sources say the bill failed after Speaker Mike Johnson reportedly lost control of the House’s ceremonial coin-flipping session, a traditional decider of foreign policy. Legislators on both sides of the aisle expressed alarm at setting a precedent that might one day restrict them from sending tank battalions to somewhere off the coast of South America for no apparent reason.

Rep. Linda Crambly (D-NY), who supported the resolution, lamented, “We’re not saying he can’t invade anywhere—we just want to be consulted if he chooses Venezuela rather than, say, the Netherlands. I have family there.”

Trump, when reached for comment, revealed he had “no immediate plans to deploy troops, but would seriously consider it if the Venezuelan government continues to disrespect Mar-a-Lago’s golf course rankings.”

As the House adjourned, bipartisan leaders agreed that if Congress ever actually prevented presidents from unilaterally invading random tropical countries, it would fundamentally alter the American way of life.