BOSTON—In a move warmly embraced by people who prefer their deportations more upbeat, U.S. District Judge Angel Kelley has blocked the government’s latest attempt to send hundreds of South Sudanese nationals home, citing the country’s current status as “one big, ongoing catastrophe with optional electricity.”

Kelley, a Biden appointee who reportedly only wears judge’s robes made by fair-trade cooperatives, granted an emergency request Tuesday: “The government must provide a country with at least functioning traffic lights and less than three coups per fiscal quarter before considering deportation,” Kelley stated in her ruling.

Administration officials expressed disappointment. “We had a whole farewell party planned for next week—balloons, sheet cake, one-way bus tickets to the airport. Now I have to eat 200 slices of vanilla cake by myself,” sighed Department of Homeland Security spokesperson Gary Dunlap, while checking the expiration date on a giant “Bon Voyage!” sign.

Several South Sudanese plaintiffs celebrated, though with guarded optimism. “It’s great to know my fate hinges on the country’s status remaining at ‘unlivable hellscape’ for at least a few more months,” said plaintiff Moses Deng, clutching a brand-new copy of “U.S. Immigration Law for Dummies.”

Critics, meanwhile, accused the administration of being too wishy-washy. “Back in my day, we deported people based on darts and a globe,” complained retired ICE field agent Linda Bronson. “If we waited for countries to not be disasters, no one would ever leave.”

As the legal battle continues, South Sudan’s government has promised to work towards ‘Borderline Acceptable’ status by 2050.