PALMA DE MALLORCA—Legendary crooner and professional silk pajama enthusiast Julio Iglesias broke his silence Tuesday regarding allegations of sexual abuse by two former employees, insisting he is guilty of nothing except perhaps releasing four different versions of “To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before.”

“I have never abused, coerced, or disrespected any woman—unless you count accidentally subjecting them to extended accordion solos,” Iglesias, 82, proclaimed from his meticulously monogrammed chaise lounge. “My only crime is loving too much, too often, and occasionally double-booking the villa for romantic candlelit dinners.”

The allegations, leveled by former staff at his Caribbean mansion, claim that Iglesias subjected them to “inappropriate touching, insults and humiliation … in an atmosphere of control.” In response, Iglesias’ legal team clarified, “Mr. Iglesias employs a strict hands-off policy, except when offering impromptu dance lessons or adjusting a velvet cummerbund.”

Close friend and longtime maracas polisher Enrique Bellavista defended the singer, stating, “Julio gets confused sometimes and thinks everyone is there for a serenade, not a paycheck. It’s an understandable error at his age.”

Forensic musicologist Dr. Gema Pardo added, “If being insufferably romantic is a crime, then the entire 1970s easy-listening genre should be indicted.”

Regardless of the outcome, sources confirm Iglesias plans to address the controversy the only way he knows how: a six-hour live medley of his greatest hits, performed exclusively for his lawyers.