LONDON—Prime Minister Keir Starmer fiercely defended his bold decision to escape the United Kingdom’s looming budget by jetting off to South Africa for the G20 summit, citing a desperate need for ‘high-level investment talks and significantly improved weather.’

‘It’s not about avoiding economic reality,’ insisted Starmer, sporting a pair of Ray-Bans and sipping a suspiciously tropical juice at Heathrow Terminal 5. ‘South Africa offers unparalleled opportunities for growth, international cooperation, and, frankly, a much better tan.’

Senior Labour aides confirmed Starmer’s attendance at the summit had nothing to do with the fact that Donald Trump would not be present, nor that the UK budget requires urgent attention. ‘He’s simply committed to sustainability and economic growth,’ said Foreign Secretary Linda Hausen, thumbing through a Lonely Planet guide labelled ‘Pretoria Nightlife.’ ‘Also, have you seen the exchange rates for spa treatments? Sustainable indeed.’

While backbench MPs expressed concern over the timing, Starmer emphasized the importance of being physically distant from spreadsheets. ‘The UK is never more secure than when its Prime Minister is seven time zones away,’ he added. ‘I’ll shore up support for Ukraine, secure vital investments, and maybe catch the Cape Town Jazz Festival if time permits.’

Treasury officials attempted to contact Starmer for urgent budget discussions but were instead greeted by an out-of-office reply featuring a stock photo of Table Mountain and the message: ‘Securing your future, one brunch at a time.’