MARSEILLE—In a shocking twist ahead of their UEFA Champions League clash with Marseille, Liverpool FC officials announced Tuesday that their French opponents are, in fact, composed entirely of street mimes with little to no footballing experience.

Manager Jürgen Klopp reportedly realized something was amiss during the pre-match press conference when Marseille captain Marcel Blanc silently pressed his palms against invisible glass and attempted to climb an imaginary ladder, rather than answer questions about team strategy. ‘We were prepared for a physical game,’ Klopp said, ‘but now our main concern is avoiding being trapped inside invisible boxes.’

Liverpool winger Mohamed Salah expressed relief at the revelation, stating, ‘I was worried about André-Pierre Gignac, but it turns out he’s just a guy in a striped shirt pretending to pull an invisible rope.’ Salah then did a brief impression, much to the amusement and confusion of local journalists.

Anfield physiotherapist Dr. Emily Barnes warned the team to remain focused. ‘Mimes are unpredictable. They could pretend to be a wall, a dog, or even a referee, and it’s unclear how UEFA plans to officiate that,’ Barnes advised as she handed out earplugs ‘just in case the silence gets too loud.’

Marseille’s head coach Jean-Claude Dubois, communicating exclusively through exaggerated facial expressions and muted gestures, mime-laughed when asked about his side’s chances: ‘We hope to surprise Liverpool by pretending to be the ball.’

UEFA officials declined to comment, but did confirm that whistling, booing, and actual football would be kept to an absolute minimum for the integrity of the performance.