Shoppers everywhere are rejoicing this Black Friday as the Ecoflow Rapid Pro Power Bank—capable of jumpstarting a small European nation—fell to a record low price of $149.99. The massive 27,650mAh device, which reportedly charges four devices while also intimidating other nearby electronics, is now within reach for anyone with a desperate need to outlast civilization’s infrastructure.

“When I plugged my phone in, all the lights on my street flickered,” said Tad McClure, an early adopter and self-described ‘Power Enthusiast.’ “Now every time I charge my iPad, my neighbor’s Alexa screams the Latin alphabet. It’s honestly kind of empowering.”

The Rapid Pro boasts a maximum power output of 300 watts, three USB-C ports—including a 140W port strong enough to charge the hopes and dreams of an entire STEM class—and a retractable cable that doubles as a makeshift tow rope. Ecoflow’s site reassures customers the battery falls just below the FAA’s 100Wh flight limit, meaning you can bring it on a plane “as long as you pinky swear not to power up any airports.”

Tech analyst Dr. Samantha Greaves warns, “If you connect two 140W wall adapters for a 280W recharge, the lights in your apartment might dim, but your soul will feel unstoppable.”

Despite its size, the Rapid Pro isn’t the bulkiest power bank. “I carry mine in a reinforced hiking backpack I call ‘the Exoskeleton,’” shared excited customer Linda Tremayne. “I can get through any blackout, as long as the blackout isn’t in my lumbar region.”

As of press time, the separately sold 320W Desktop Charger was unavailable in the U.S., but cryptic sightings in Europe suggest it may have achieved sentience.