In a rare act of national solidarity, millions of Americans briefly set aside their differences Monday to collectively stampede online retailers following the revelation that the Sonos Era 100 wireless speaker is now available for the historically low price of $189, a full $30 off.

“I never thought I’d live to see history repeat itself with a Speaker Rush of this magnitude,” said tech historian Dr. Lila Schwartz, referencing the infamous 2019 Black Friday Echo Dot Skirmish. “It’s clear that what Americans need right now is the healing power of crisp, room-filling audio at a slightly reduced price.”

Crowds flooded Amazon, Best Buy, and Sonos’s own website, with one site reporting over 75,000 visitors per minute, all jostling for a chance to make their living rooms sound ‘mildly better than before.’ “I’ve never used a Sonos product in my life, but when I saw the words ‘$30 off’ I just blacked out and woke up with eight speakers in my cart,” confessed Sheryl Dunham, 34, of Des Moines.

In an effort to cater to the nation’s most desperate audiophiles, Sonos also rolled out a $134 refurbished option, complete with ‘fresh accessories and packaging,’ in what the company described as “basically like new, except you know, technically not.”

“I was on the fence until I realized I could save enough to almost buy a single vinyl record,” said local dad and fiscal hero Greg Yates. “That’s the kind of smart financial planning they don’t teach in schools anymore.”

Retailers say the crisis may only deepen as word spreads of the speaker’s advanced features, like stereo audio, Bluetooth, and, for the especially sophisticated, the ability to manually flip the microphone privacy switch.