U.S. economic activity plummeted this weekend as news broke that the Acer Chromebook Plus Spin 514, the nation’s most coveted 2-in-1 laptop-tablet hybrid, was $200 off at Best Buy. Panic-buying swept the country as thousands rushed to secure what analysts are now calling “the only electronic device you’ll ever need, provided your standards remain low.”

“I was on my old 2014 Chromebook when the alert came in,” said Sarah Whittaker, 32, who has since quit her job to focus exclusively on using her new Spin 514. “Now, with 12 GB of RAM, 256 GB of storage, and the power of the Kompanio Ultra 910 processor, I can open dozens of Chrome tabs I’ve never actually read.”

Meanwhile, leading economists warn of a looming productivity crisis as workers abandon all tasks except adjusting their 120Hz IPS touchscreens and trying to figure out what USI 2.0 stylus is and why it doesn’t come with the laptop. “We expect at least a 12% drop in GDP until people realize the speakers are, once again, garbage,” said Federal Reserve spokesperson Timothy Funt.

Acer spokesperson Janice Dreen was quick to defend the $499 price point, emphasizing, “For just $499, you get a cutting-edge web browser with a keyboard—and the opportunity to buy a stylus separately. What more could you want?”

As stores run out of stock, the government has launched a task force to determine what, if anything, Americans should now do with their extra $200. “Maybe just buy more chargers,” suggested Best Buy cashier Marty Klemp. “Or, you know, invest in therapy for Chromebook speaker trauma.”