OXFORD, MS—In a heartwarming display of corporate synergy, Ole Miss head football coach Lane Kiffin reportedly pocketed a $250,000 bonus Saturday—not for a victory by his own team, but because his former team, the Florida Atlantic University Owls, narrowly won a game of pickleball in the campus rec center.

The bonus, which materialized due to a little-known clause in Kiffin’s contract titled ‘The Good Vibes Amendment,’ is part of the NCAA’s groundbreaking initiative to ensure coaches never have to rely solely on present performance or actual employment for financial security. “Look, I feel like a proud parent, collecting child support payments when Ole Miss wins anything at all,” said Kiffin, unwrapping a celebratory stack of $20 bills. “It’s important for coaches to feel financially appreciated, even if they personally had nothing to do with the game.”

Ole Miss Athletic Director Carter Williams lauded the arrangement: “By rewarding coaches for the achievements of the programs they abandoned, we hope to foster a culture of nostalgia-fueled excellence. Frankly, it’s cheaper than keeping Lane happy with actual football wins.”

Meanwhile, NCAA Compliance Officer Janice Underwood clarified, “If Nick Saban’s old teams ever win another title, we expect the nation’s entire supply of bonus checks to be consumed in a single afternoon.”

At press time, sources confirmed that Urban Meyer was seen lurking outside various campus bookstores, attempting to retroactively lay claim to royalties from every university he’d ever coached.