WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a development experts are calling “deeply predictable,” America’s leading institutions have reportedly discovered that the most effective strategy for dealing with President Donald Trump’s demands is a centuries-old tactic known as immediate, unquestioning capitulation.

“When President Trump asked the Smithsonian to replace the Declaration of Independence with his old tweets, we initially thought it was a joke,” admitted Dr. Samantha Hull, Chief Historian at the National Archives. “But after several all-caps emails and a single phone call threatening to ‘nuke the Magna Carta,’ we decided to just roll with it.”

Law firms, universities, and media organizations have joined the swift movement, with Harvard Law School announcing the new “Trump Law Degree,” a program focusing on “Impression Management and Strategic Groveling.” Fox News anchor Ricky Dalpino explained the media’s approach: “We’ve been instructed to refer to President Trump as ‘Commander in Chief, King, and Grand Wizard of Truth’ during all broadcasts. At first it felt strange, but honestly, the ratings are up.”

Several legal experts warn that the next step may be a national “Say Something Nice About Trump Day.” Constitutional scholar Mark Yeldman voiced concern: “We always thought American democracy was indestructible, but apparently it’s on the same level as a decorative butter sculpture at the Iowa State Fair.”

With midterm elections on the horizon, political scientists predict voters will demand accountability—right after they finish lining up for the White House’s new reality show, “So You Think You Can Pledge?”