LOS GATOS, CA—In what experts are calling an unprecedented move in the field of streaming, Netflix stunned viewers Monday with the release of “Maternal Instincts,” a new true crime documentary billed as ‘bone-chilling’ and ‘shocking,’ a promise previously made by every other true crime documentary in existence.

According to insiders, the Netflix board refused to approve the series until its murder was confirmed to be at least three times more horrifying than last week’s “Deadly Knitting Circle” and the “Library Murders: Dewey Decimated.” Executive producer Linda Whitson assured subscribers, “Every time you think you’ve seen the most disturbing true crime imaginable, we dig up something deeper from the bowels of East Texas. We’re actually running low on adjectives.”

At a packed press event in Gilmer, Texas, possible series subject Trent Blakely said, “I don’t want to end up in one of these documentaries, but if I do, I hope they spell my name right and cast someone hotter in the reenactment.”

Netflix content strategist Devon Cranley explained, “Viewers crave more than just murder—they want murder with maternal instincts, hometown secrets, and an original score by Trent Reznor. They also want to be able to say ‘I can’t believe something like this could happen here’ for the 60th time this year.”

In what critics call a bold step, “Maternal Instincts” also includes reenactments with confused local actors and a helpful map of Texas, even though the only relevant detail was ‘small town.’