WASHINGTON—In advance of former President Donald Trump’s highly anticipated Capitol Hill luncheon, multiple Senate Republicans have reportedly requested a platoon of emotional support animals and a standing supply of antacids to cope with what they ominously call “the digestion of democracy.”

Aides described the mood inside the Senate lunchroom as “tense with notes of existential nausea” as Trump prepares to air grievances over the SAVE America Act and alleged filibuster betrayals. “I haven’t felt this kind of dread since elementary school cafeteria pizza was declared ‘Meat Lover’s Mystery,’” admitted Senator Rand Paul, clutching a plush golden retriever named Patriot. “I just hope he doesn’t ask to see what’s in my Tupperware.”

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell was seen whispering to a rescued therapy tortoise while reviewing potential escape routes from the dessert table. “My therapist says I should focus on my breathing, but all I can hear is the sound of Trump asking if we’re ‘ready to win so much we choke on it,’” McConnell confided to reporters while nervously declining a serving of jello.

The Capitol’s janitorial staff has already deployed industrial-strength air fresheners in anticipation of “unprecedented levels of political flatulence.” According to lunch coordinator Doris Finkelstein, “We’re serving a bipartisan buffet, but mainly I expect a food fight. That’s why we’re putting out plastic cutlery and a laminated copy of the Constitution for napkins.”

At press time, Senators reported relief that the only thing filibustered so far was the mashed potatoes.