WASHINGTON—In a bold new effort to streamline anti-immigrant rhetoric, President Donald Trump announced Tuesday that his administration will now formally classify all immigrants as ‘clutter’ in the official White House inventory system. Press Secretary Kelsey Murdock explained the updated terminology at a morning briefing, stating that ‘immigrants, refugees, and anyone who looks like they might prefer hummus to mayonnaise will be listed under the ‘Miscellaneous Debris’ tab.’

‘We’re just being honest about what they are to us,’ said Senior Advisor Chad Longmire, demonstrating a new Excel spreadsheet titled ‘Stuff We Don’t Want.’ ‘If something doesn’t spark joy, you throw it away. That’s just Marie Kondo, folks.’

In a brief Rose Garden statement, President Trump clarified, ‘There are a lot of problems with Afghans—too spicy. Somalis, their country stinks. I said it. But I love legal immigrants, like Melania. Great taste in furniture.’

Asked for comment, Homeland Security Deputy Undersecretary Carol Styles added, ‘We’re not dehumanizing immigrants. We’re just acknowledging their innate ability to congregate in inconvenient locations, like the southwest border or the back of a Chipotle.’

Analysts expect further linguistic innovation, with rumors of an executive order reclassifying visa-holders as ‘recyclables’ and asylum-seekers as ‘return to sender.’