In a White House meeting that political analysts are already calling “The Most Uncomfortable Brunch Since Yalta,” former President Donald Trump extended his full-throated support for Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, referring to the 2018 murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi as “just one of those sticky social situations.”

“Look, the guy throws a fantastic falafel spread. Sometimes people disappear, sometimes they don’t,” Trump told reporters while showcasing a scale model of Trump Tower Jeddah, now boasting a new ‘Discreet Entrances’ wing. “Who are we to judge? I’ve lost plenty of people at Mar-a-Lago. Most resurface in the casino.”

When pressed about human rights concerns, Trump pivoted to property values. “Honestly, the Saudis are fantastic business partners. They haven’t murdered a single Trump-branded golf course, which is more than I can say for ABC News, frankly,” the former president added, pausing to glare at a nearby television playing ‘Good Morning America.’

White House spokesperson K.T. McNugget later clarified: “President Trump believes in second chances, especially for those offering lucrative real estate deals on the Red Sea. It’s about forgiveness and oceanfront views.”

Crown Prince bin Salman expressed his gratitude, stating through an interpreter, “We look forward to working closely with Mr. Trump’s family. And if any reporters would like a tour of the consulate, we’ll roll out the red carpet—including the stain-resistant models.”

As the meeting concluded, Trump issued a warning to ABC News: “I’d advise them to be careful. I hear Jeddah is lovely this time of year—and so are its consulates.”