WASHINGTON, D.C. — A new letter from House Democrats claims that President Trump’s relentless focus on immigration enforcement has left anti-human trafficking agents with little time for their traditional pastimes of foiling international crime rings and watching reruns of ‘To Catch a Predator.’

According to the letter, nearly two dozen Democrats are demanding homeland security officials immediately return agents to their regularly scheduled programming. ‘It’s gotten so bad that ICE agents now have to decide between raiding a warehouse of undocumented Canadians or busting an underground network of billionaires running amok with shady massage parlors,’ lamented Rep. Linda Waxbaum (D-CA), who once mistook Chuck E. Cheese for a potential trafficking den.

Critics say that Trump’s directive to prioritize mass deportation has resulted in what experts are calling ‘an unprecedented shortage of heroic action montages.’ Dr. Hank Gasperson, Senior Analyst at the Center for Keeping Tabs on Stuff, warned, ‘If this continues, America’s most-trafficked highways may soon be left un-policed, except by bored carpoolers and the occasional speeding grandma.’

Meanwhile, former anti-trafficking agent Carl ‘Cuff ‘Em’ Jenkins says his new assignment has been rough. ‘I used to infiltrate dangerous rings dressed as a 12-year-old boy. Now my biggest challenge is explaining to Canadians why they’re not allowed to bring ketchup chips across the border.’

Democrats have also called for the immediate release of the Jeffrey Epstein investigative files, reportedly so the nation can finally learn whether or not he liked pineapple on pizza.