In a bold move to tackle soaring energy costs for American households, former President Donald Trump assembled top tech leaders at the White House Wednesday, demanding that Artificial Intelligence systems run on ‘100% pure American gumption’ instead of electricity by 2025.

“We’re turning off the plugs and plugging in good old-fashioned patriotism,” Trump announced, flanked by Google CEO Sundar Pichai, Tesla’s Elon Musk, and the holographic projection of Mark Zuckerberg. The executives nodded enthusiastically through the meeting, despite the fact that several outlets reported surges in nearby Wi-Fi usage as the tech moguls frantically texted ‘help’ under the conference table.

As part of the new initiative, the Tech Giants signed the ‘No More Plugging In, Just Believing’ pledge, swearing that data centers would be powered by national pride, Ronald Reagan speeches, and a rotating cast of Golden Retriever puppies by summer’s end. “We believe this plan is not only doable but inevitable,” said Google’s Sundar Pichai, pausing to refill his coffee with Red Bull. “If patriotism can power Twitter arguments, it can certainly power the cloud.”

Meanwhile, White House energy consultant Chad McGuffin eagerly demonstrated a prototype Patriotism Generator: a treadmill that powers nearby servers whenever citizens chant ‘USA! USA!’ loud enough. “Soon, Alexa will only answer to the name ‘Liberty,’” he bragged, “and Siri will auto-correct all texts to include ‘Freedom.’”

“Finally, Americans will get the free AI they deserve—assuming they’re willing to chant for it,” said Ivanka Trump, now Head of the Department of Emotional Infrastructure. “And if all else fails, we’ll just ask AI to lower your utility bill. After all, it’s artificially intelligent.”