PALM BEACH, FL — In a bold move to stop what he called “the most radical, left-wing computers ever invented,” former President Donald Trump announced Wednesday that he had personally shut off California’s artificial intelligence mainframe by yanking its plug out of the wall at Google headquarters. The act comes after Congress declined to pass federal restrictions on state-level AI laws.

“I said I was going to stop the bias, folks, and I meant it. They’re making the AIs read Howard Zinn and Rachel Maddow, nobody wants that,” Trump shouted to a crowd gathered outside a Best Buy, holding an unplugged extension cord aloft. “Now the only thing woke in California is the employees when they realize they have to write their own emails again!”

Sources say Trump arrived at Google headquarters, unannounced, wearing a hoodie that said “No More Robo-Biden,” and demanded access to “the AI room.” Security guard Dave Melman recounted, “He told me he was there to save democracy from ChatGPT. Then he handed me a signed copy of The Art of the Deal and just walked in.”

Silicon Valley executives expressed confusion at the move. Google spokesperson Ava Lin said, “We actually don’t have a mainframe or a single plug, but we’re all for exploring his energy-saving policies.”

When asked if he would next attempt to unplug New York’s AI, Trump responded, “Absolutely. I’m bringing a bigger extension cord this time.”