PALM BEACH, FL—In a move that legal scholars are describing as ‘a historic leap backwards,’ former president Donald Trump defended himself against felony charges Tuesday night by launching a full-scale verbal offensive on Judge Juan Merchan and his family, citing what aides call the ‘insult it away’ defense strategy.

“This judge, he’s got a family—many people are saying, maybe too many family members,” Trump declared to an enthusiastic Mar-a-Lago crowd, moments after being arraigned. “Frankly, the only crime here is how unfair this judge is to me, and maybe his wife’s taste in wallpaper. Believe me.”

Trump campaign adviser Rick Grifton explained the new tactic: “When the facts are against you, and the law is against you, try a bold pivot: personally attack anyone wearing a robe. It’s worked for him at family weddings, why not in court?”

Prominent defense attorney Linda Juris, who studied for the bar exam while eating cold soup, weighed in: “This marks the first time in U.S. history that a defendant has argued, ‘Your Honor, I am rubber, you are glue,’ as an official legal motion.”

Harvard Law professor Tad Bingley commented, “It’s clear Mr. Trump is playing four-dimensional legal chess, and everyone else is still stuck obeying the rules of regular chess, or, you know, the law.”

Political analysts expect the ‘insult it away’ defense to become increasingly popular among defendants with extensive social media followers—or at least with those whose lawyers have already quit.