WASHINGTON — After months of deliberation, the Trump administration announced late Wednesday the launch of its latest foreign policy initiative, ‘Operation Economic Outcast 2: Sanctions Harder,’ assuring the Iranian people that things can, in fact, always get worse.

“Our goal is to take Iran’s already crumbling economy and really push it over the edge, possibly off a cliff or into a well,” said State Department spokesperson Linda Grindle, pausing to check if Iran still had an economy left to sanction. “Frankly, we’re scraping the barrel. Next month, our sanctions will target Iran’s national carpet supply and the country’s last four remaining pistachios.”

Many Iranians welcomed the news with the same enthusiasm reserved for surprise dentist visits. “Honestly, we didn’t realize we could afford to be punished more,” said Reza Farhadi, a Tehran bakery owner now bartering croissants for gasoline. “Yesterday, my savings could buy a loaf of bread. Today, they can buy the idea of bread.”

Some skeptics, however, questioned the effectiveness of repeat economic devastation. “We’d already been sanctioned down to our socks,” said economist Dr. Laleh Shahbazi. “Now the U.S. wants the socks, plus whatever dust is under the bed.”

At press time, the Trump administration promised future sanctions campaigns would be announced via Pay-Per-View, with the proceeds earmarked for the purchase of additional vowels for Iran’s rapidly depreciating currency.