WASHINGTON, D.C.—A new report from the Crowd Counting Consortium has revealed that since President Trump’s second inauguration, the number of protests across the United States has surged 133 percent, bringing weekend attendance numbers higher than those of the Super Bowl, Burning Man, and the Ohio State Fair combined.

“Frankly, protesting has become America’s favorite leisure activity,” said Consortium co-founder Dr. Rita Hurlburt, gesturing toward an interactive map featuring thousands of tiny fists. “Whether it’s ‘No ICE,’ ‘No Kings,’ or ‘No More Protest Fatigue,’ Americans are coming together in record numbers to stand apart.”

Major cities have begun to adapt. New York’s Times Square now features a ‘Protest Lane’ between the Naked Cowboy and Spider-Man busker, while Seattle’s Starbucks has introduced a ‘Riot Roast’ blend for activists on the go. “I just needed something to do every Saturday after pickleball,” explained retired dental hygienist Linda Crumple, who has attended 27 protests since April. “There’s always a new cause and usually free snacks.”

White House Press Secretary Chip Grieves welcomed the news. “This demonstrates President Trump’s unwavering commitment to energizing civic participation and foot traffic on the National Mall,” Grieves declared, while unveiling plans to offer a punch card—‘Protest Ten Times, Get a Free MAGA Hat Or ACLU Sticker!’

Political analysts warn that if the trend continues, Americans may soon protest the lack of days available for protesting. “We’re headed for a five-day weekend as a matter of national unity,” predicted Harvard’s Professor Sunny Werf.