CARACAS — In a bold step towards democracy, Venezuela’s interim leadership announced it had courageously released 14 out of an estimated 1,000 political prisoners this week, describing the move as the start of a new era in which slightly fewer citizens are behind bars for opposing the government.

“Today we send a very clear message to the world: Venezuela is entering a new political moment, one in which people have a roughly 1.4% chance of being free at any given time,” proclaimed acting president Delcy Rodríguez, triumphantly unlocking a ceremonial handcuff at a televised press conference. “Let no one doubt the transparency and velocity of our process. We welcome criticism as long as it is positive and does not mention numbers.”

Officials assured international observers that every case was being reviewed by an impartial committee composed entirely of people named Rodríguez. “For every prisoner we release, we immediately find another, so the system remains balanced. This is efficiency, not opacity,” explained Juan Carlos Rodríguez, Director of Revolutionary Fairness.

Some ordinary citizens expressed cautious optimism. “I am so grateful my cousin was released,” said María López, 35, “though he was promptly rearrested when he tweeted, ‘thanks?’”

Government press secretary Héctor Yáñez reassured the world: “We are committed to freedom for all Venezuelans, except the ones who need to remain detained for stability, inspiration, and paperwork purposes.”

NGOs, meanwhile, were reportedly updated on the reforms after a brief, blindfolded meeting in the back of a moving van.