MIAMI, FL — Promising to bring the same level of scrutiny to the U.S. Senate that he once brought to presidential phone calls, Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman (Ret.) has officially launched his campaign for U.S. Senate in Florida, declaring that no questionable behavior—foreign or Floridian—will go unreported.

“I blew the whistle on Trump. Now I’m blowing the whistle on anyone who makes a U-turn without signaling,” Vindman declared Thursday while standing at a Miami intersection with a notepad. “Florida is ready for a leader who isn’t afraid to testify about the truth, or at minimum, about HOA violations.”

The former NSC official, who famously testified during President Trump’s first impeachment, has promised to bring unprecedented transparency to the Sunshine State. Among his campaign pledges: creating a congressional subcommittee to investigate suspicious alligator activity and launching daily impeachment hearings for anyone who double parks at Publix.

Local Democratic strategist Raúl Papadopoulos said, “Floridians are excited for a candidate who’s not just willing, but eager, to report neighborly conduct to Congress. You can’t buy that kind of vigilance at Walgreens.”

Critics, however, remain skeptical. “I just hope he doesn’t try to impeach my grandmother for mailing chain letters,” said resident Luanne DeJesus. Meanwhile, Republican incumbent Ashley Moody issued a statement, reading, “Florida will always respect the right to remain silent—especially at neighborhood watch meetings.”

Vindman is considered a favorite among voters who love both constitutional oversight and snitching on their neighbors for improper recycling.