WASHINGTON—According to documents released this week, Trump-era fundraisers approached Microsoft executives in early 2018, seeking help to bankroll a $300 million White House ballroom, offering possible incentives including naming rights, a dedicated Wi-Fi hotspot, and a ceremonial seat for Clippy, the iconic digital assistant.

“We thought it would be a win-win: the nation gets a fabulous ballroom and Microsoft gets to put Cortana on the guest list for every state dinner,” explained fundraising liaison Greg Bannerman, who said the pitch included rendering of a dance floor with the Windows 10 logo subtly hidden beneath a portrait of Andrew Jackson.

The new ballroom, intended to replace the East Wing or, according to later drafts, “just attach wherever there’s room on the lawn,” was touted as a “unique opportunity for American tech to waltz into history.” “Frankly, it’s the least Microsoft can do after all those Windows Updates,” a White House official stated, under the condition of anonymity.

Microsoft’s response, detailed in a letter from counsel Karen Christian, confirmed, “We were contacted regarding a possible donation, but were unclear whether the ballroom would also offer complimentary Xbox Live access.”

While the effort ultimately stalled, some Democratic lawmakers expressed relief. “If we’re going to privatize the White House, I’d at least like to see a Google-branded skate park,” Sen. Elizabeth Warren commented, already sketching preliminary designs for a TikTok Studio in the Lincoln Bedroom.