WASHINGTON—In a bold escalation of America’s centuries-old tradition of real estate acquisition, the White House confirmed Tuesday that ‘all options remain on the table,’ including military force and rare collectibles, in its quest to add Greenland to the U.S. portfolio.

President Trump described the proposed annexation as ‘manifest destiny, but colder,’ and signaled his willingness to send either Marines or a heavily curated set of holographic Charizards to the negotiating table. ‘People say you can’t buy a country,’ Trump remarked. ‘But the Danish, I mean, what do they really need all that ice for? We could put a beautiful golf course on it. Or several. Maybe some condos.’

In a joint statement, European leaders criticized the move, noting, ‘Greenland is not available for purchase, lease, or swap for a Trump casino loyalty card.’ Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen added, ‘Our sovereignty is not for sale, no matter how many limited-edition Pokémon cards are on offer.’

Meanwhile, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo attempted to reassure NATO allies, explaining, ‘We have no immediate plans to deploy troops. We’re just brainstorming, you know, in case Denmark gets cold feet or melts.’ He then offered a ‘friendly exchange’ of New Jersey for Greenland, ‘plus a signed Trump University diploma.’

The Pentagon, asked for comment, clarified it was ‘reviewing the logistics of Operation Icebreaker,’ should negotiations fail. ‘We have plenty of snow gear left over from our failed winter exercise in Miami Beach,’ said Pentagon spokesperson Col. Randy Glacier.