In what FIFA officials are now describing as ‘an administrative oopsie,’ the upcoming World Cup ‘Pride Match’ on June 26th will feature a dazzling clash between Egypt and Iran—two nations internationally renowned for their love of rainbow-colored accessories and interpretive dance.

The match, hosted in Seattle’s Climate Pledge Arena, was originally intended as a heartfelt celebration of inclusivity, featuring pre-game drag performances, rainbow corner flags, and a halftime parade led by local drag icon Glenda Cleats. Organizers only belatedly realized that Egypt and Iran might not be entirely on board with the vision after both countries registered formal protests, citing ‘mild cultural incompatibility’ with choreographed glitter cannons.

“Our players are fine with most forms of sport, but we’re concerned that a stadium-wide conga line might violate several international treaties,” said Egyptian Football Federation spokesman Ahmed El-Awkward. Iranian team manager Hamed Taktaz echoed the concern: “We respectfully request that the official match ball not be the giant beachball with a face of Elton John.”

FIFA has attempted to quell tensions by proposing a compromise: swapping the rainbow armbands for beige ones and limiting the post-goal light show to two discreet strobe pulses. As one FIFA official, Lucas von Panic, explained: “We believe we can still celebrate human rights, just very quietly, and maybe with the lights off.”

Meanwhile, ticket holders remain confused. Local Seattle fan Jenny Rainbow reported, “Honestly, I just wanted to see some soccer and maybe get a rainbow churro. Now I’m not sure if I need to bring a protest sign or a disco ball.”

The event will proceed as planned, with organizers promising next year’s Pride Match will feature teams “less likely to cause a minor international incident.”