In yet another bid to bring calm to the tempestuous world of collegiate athletics, the NCAA announced Wednesday it will convene its first-ever ‘Truth or Dare Tribunal’ after a San Jose State University volleyball controversy devolved into a heated exchange of disputed claims, impassioned TikTok videos, and at least two interpretive dance TikToks.

The conflict centers on former SJSU assistant coach Melissa Batie-Smoose, who emerged from the volleyball witness protection program to defend player Brooke Slusser against allegations made by transgender teammate Blaire Fleming. The claims stem from an incident after practice in which, according to Fleming, Slusser allegedly “spiked the ball with microaggressions.”

“I saw the whole thing,” Batie-Smoose declared from atop a stack of 200 volleyballs. “Brooke may have set aggressively, but it’s not a crime to serve with intent to win.”

The university’s administration, eager to avoid yet another Change.org petition, appointed sophomore ethics major Riley McMurray as Acting Chief Mediator. “Our process is simple: each party will state their case, then the loser has to prank-call the athletic director,” McMurray explained while drafting bylaws on the Notes app.

Fleming remains undeterred. “All I want is a safe spike space,” she said, attaching three pages of footnotes.

Despite mounting confusion, NCAA Commissioner Greg Pillow assures the public that the hearing will provide clarity. “We have decided to resolve future disputes with Rock-Paper-Scissors,” Pillow stated, adding, “We’re just happy the badminton team hasn’t noticed.”