WASHINGTON — In a rare display of bipartisan consensus, lawmakers from both major parties jointly announced Sunday that they would officially relinquish their constitutional war powers to the President, expressing confidence that the Commander-in-Chief will exercise his new unchecked authority ‘responsibly and hopefully for some really cool stuff.’

“I trust President Trump with the nuclear codes and the power to invade any nation at will,” said Senator Thaddeus Plimsoll (D-NJ), adjusting his American flag lapel pin. “Frankly, I’m just relieved we don’t have to keep voting on this boring stuff. War sounds stressful.”

Senator Cory Booker, who bravely criticized both parties on CNN, clarified later that his remarks would have been much stronger if his microphone hadn’t cut out. “I tried to say ‘feckless and deeply irresponsible,’ but it got garbled. Honestly, I’m just happy I’m on TV,” Booker stated, before repeating the phrase ‘checks and balances’ into the void.

Republican Majority Leader Smedley Frump (R-TX) defended the move, telling reporters, “The President’s got great instincts. If he wants to launch a few fun missile strikes at, say, Cuba or North Korea, who are we to stop him? Our job is mostly fundraising emails now anyway.”

In a gesture of good faith, Congress also voted to send the President a commemorative ‘Do Whatever You Want’ button, which White House sources confirm he has already misplaced in the Situation Room couch cushions.