LOS ANGELES—Actor and noted merger expert Mark Ruffalo revealed Thursday that he believes he has already been placed on Hollywood’s dreaded No-Fly List—a secret document maintained by Paramount-Skydance, now merged with Warner Bros., to ensure no dissenting Avenger ever works again.

“I’ve accepted that I’ll have to spend the rest of my career starring in gritty indie films and haunting Toronto coffee shops,” Ruffalo confessed on the ‘I’ve Had It’ podcast, bravely sipping a herbal tea. “But you gotta take a stand. Even if your reward is a lifetime ban from wearing prosthetic green muscles.”

Industry insiders report the list, known internally as the Nuisance Talent Security Index, was handwritten in a Moleskine notebook by a Paramount vice president during a tense brunch meeting at Soho House. “We just can’t have Ruffalo running around, stirring up people with his dangerous opinions like ‘Don’t sell all the movies to one rich guy,’” said fictional Paramount executive Chad Evers. “That kind of radicalism has no place in this business.”

Other stars reportedly added to the list include Timothée Chalamet (too many scarves), Tilda Swinton (threatening to shapeshift into David Zaslav), and original Monopoly man Rich Uncle Pennybags (too pro-labor). “It’s sad, but we simply can’t risk these troublemakers trying to unionize the golf carts,” explained invented Paramount compliance officer Sheila Wrentz.

Ruffalo remains undaunted. “I’m already writing my own superhero script,” he noted. “It’s called ‘The Blacklisted Hulk: You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Canceled.’”