The protracted feud between former President Donald Trump and HBO host Bill Maher intensified this week, as both men threatened to deploy the harshest weapon in their arsenals: the “unfollow” button on Twitter.

The standoff began when Maher mocked Trump’s approval rating during his Friday monologue, prompting Trump to fire back on Truth Social, calling Maher a “ratings disaster” and claiming his audience consisted entirely of “robots programmed to fake-laugh when I’m not president.” The situation has since spiraled into what pundits are calling “the most significant online standoff since the Great Block War of 2017.”

Sources close to both men confirm neither has slept since Saturday, instead refreshing their Twitter feeds every four seconds to check for signs of digital betrayal. “If Maher unfollows Trump before Friday, that’s basically an act of cyberwar,” said Dr. Lyle Ternity, a senior analyst at the Social Media Institute. “It could destabilize the entire landscape of people-who-are-famous-for-being-angry-at-each-other.”

In response, Maher’s producers have allegedly begun constructing a “Super Sarcastic Laughbot 9000” capable of reacting to Trump’s tweets in real time. “The bot will allow us to simulate the authentic Maher laugh, which is crucial since most of our audience is now in the blockchain,” said a spokesperson for HBO on the condition of anonymity.

As for Trump, sources say he’s been workshopping comebacks with AI versions of Don Rickles and Rosie O’Donnell. “This is bigger than the nuclear codes,” claimed Trump social media strategist, Brad Figg. “If Bill unfollows, we might have to unfollow back. It’s the art of the deal.”

Neither side has ruled out the possibility of escalating to Instagram.