SEATTLE—In a move hailed by environmentalists and confused IT professionals alike, tech giants Google and Amazon jointly unveiled their bold new sustainability initiative Thursday: planting an artificial forest composed entirely of server racks camouflaged as eco-friendly trees.

The companies admitted that their previous promises to reach net-zero emissions have become “complicated” ever since AI workloads began consuming roughly the energy output of a small Scandinavian nation. “We had no idea AI would want to process every cat photo and sandwich order on the globe simultaneously,” explained Google’s Director of Existential Realizations, Blair Sunmount. “But we believe that encasing data centers in bark and leaves is the next logical step.”

Amazon spokesperson Kyle Bezos (no relation) noted that each server tree would sequester up to zero pounds of carbon per year, “but the important thing is they look green, and that’s half the battle.” The company’s press materials also touted the psychological benefits of their new server groves, including “improved vibes” for warehouse workers who now rest their eyes on mist-shrouded NVIDIA GPUs during 16-hour shifts.

“It’s beautiful,” said self-described eco-influencer Petra McKindle after touring the prototype forest near Palo Alto. “I just hope the trees can learn to photosynthesize. Or at least not catch fire.”

Neither company responded to follow-up questions about how many more coal plants would be needed if ChatGPT ever learns to play Minecraft.