NYON, SWITZERLAND — In a bold attempt to spice up European football, UEFA officials today revealed a Champions League draw that will see Paris Saint-Germain face both Manchester City and the widely Googled Aston Villa, whom most fans assumed was a historic pub.

“Frankly, we just wanted to see what would happen if we had three teams instead of two in a single group, or whatever it’s called now,” admitted UEFA Secretary General René Dubois, as he absentmindedly spun a massive lottery tumbler. “Also, nobody here could remember if Aston Villa was a Premier League team or something from the 1800s.”

According to the new match format, PSG will play Manchester City every other Tuesday, Aston Villa every odd-numbered Friday, and at least one match will be contested via FIFA 23 on PlayStation. UEFA insists this innovative structure will “maximize drama and confusion for fans, players, and groundskeepers alike.”

City manager Pep Guardiola welcomed the draw, stating, “It’s nice to challenge ourselves against the best, and also Aston Villa.” Meanwhile, PSG captain Kylian Mbappé expressed concern: “I thought Aston Villa was a myth, like Bigfoot or financial fair play.”

Aston Villa chairman Lord Percival Shankly-Smythe was unavailable for comment, but his butler released a statement: “We look forward to graciously attending the occasion, provided the match does not clash with the Cheltenham races.”

UEFA concluded by announcing next year’s draw would be televised live from IKEA, with clubs required to assemble their own fixtures.