BALTIMORE, MD — In a historic yet deeply confusing move for both cinema and sock enthusiasts, acclaimed director Brady Corbet announced he will film David Byrne’s Baltimore shows in 70mm, a format previously reserved for cinematic epics and, on rare occasion, footage of particularly emotional squirrels.

“When Brady told me he wanted to shoot in 70 millimeter (70 millimeter!), I thought, ‘Sure, why not, let’s see how many pores people can handle,’” said Byrne, addressing reporters while adjusting a sharply geometric suit. “We’re expecting the audience to feel as though they’re trapped inside my left shoe for two hours. It’s the immersive misery we all crave.”

The film, tentatively titled ‘Stop Making Sense, Start Making Pixels,’ is slated to document every aspect of Byrne’s performance, from the atomic vibrations of his vocal cords to the existential dread in his backup dancers’ eyes. “I want viewers to really taste the anxiety,” Corbet explained, caressing a Panavision camera. “If you don’t come out questioning the meaning of life and the life of your meaning, have we really succeeded?”

Local David Byrne fan and part-time philosopher Amber Valenti is excited for the upgrade. “When I saw ‘Stop Making Sense’ on VHS, I felt like I was missing the subtle toenail choreography,” she said. “70mm is the only way to do this justice.”

Meanwhile, IMAX engineer Kevin Fenster expressed cautious optimism: “We’re reinforcing the projectors in case David’s forehead gets any larger. Safety first.”