BANDA ACEH, Indonesia — In a groundbreaking advancement for digital morality enforcement, authorities in Aceh province have successfully bridged the ancient art of public shaming with 21st-century social media etiquette, caning a local couple for the crime of ‘kissing on TikTok without proper hashtags.’

The court ruled that 22-year-old Ahmad Fauzi and 25-year-old Nur Ishaq violated Aceh’s Sharia law by ‘engaging in unauthorized facial proximity’ in a video that garnered an astonishing 14 likes before being flagged by the Committee for the Prevention of Viral Romance.

Dozens of onlookers gathered in Bustanussalatin City Park to witness the caning, some filming the event on their own smartphones under the supervision of morality officers, lest any accidental double-taps occur. Morality Chief Haji Syamsul Razi clarified, ‘This is not about kissing. This is about setting a precedent against algorithmic infidelity.’

The caners, in official microfiber robes and off-brand Guy Fawkes masks, delivered 21 meticulously counted lashes each. “We actually added one for every filter used,” explained caner-in-training Rizki Hamdan. “They used the puppy nose filter, which is haram.”

TikTok Indonesia issued a statement reminding users that while trends like #KissChallenge are popular elsewhere, in Aceh province, it is recommended to instead participate in the safer #PublicRepentanceChallenge. “We encourage our creators to focus on more wholesome content, like making wudu tutorials or how to avoid eye contact in the metaverse,” said spokesperson Laila Sutanto.

Local resident Siti Rahayu, who live-blogged the event, commented, ‘Honestly, it’s nice to see the community come together. My cousin was caned last week for liking a cat video that winked.’