SEATTLE—As flowers bloom and pollen clogs every available nostril, millions of Americans are rejoicing at the arrival of Amazon’s Big Spring Sale, the annual festival traditionally celebrated by purchasing items that seemed like a good idea around 2 a.m. on a Wednesday. Shoppers are seizing this rare opportunity to spend $22 less on an Echo Spot than they did during January’s National Communicate With a Robot Holiday, only to discover they already own two.

“Finally, a chance to own a fourth robot vacuum,” said Denver resident Linda Felson, who confided she’s excited to stack her discounted Deebot X8 Pro Omni on top of her existing Roomba, Dreame L10s Pro Ultra, and whatever that circular one with the mop is called. “I just love saving $500 on something I won’t bother to learn how to use. We’re a three-vacuum household, so adding a fourth feels like I’m really investing in myself.”

Amazon spokesperson Trey Beaumont assured consumers, “The Big Spring Sale is the perfect time to buy all the gadgets you didn’t realize you needed, like the SwitchBot Bot—which we promise actually does something—and a MagGo Qi2 Certified 15W Wireless Charger, which you’ll lose by Thursday.”

Retail analysts confirmed the Spring Sale’s importance in the American retail calendar. “Now, there’s no longer a deal drought between Buy a Giant TV Day and National Instant Pot Regret Month,” said economist Marsha Byers. “Amazon has really closed the existential emptiness that used to haunt March.”

At press time, Target, Best Buy, and Walmart confirmed they are offering the exact same deals, but with a sacrifice of two hours of your life spent refreshing browser tabs.