CUPERTINO, CA—In a development threatening to make human-wrist nudity a thing of the past, Apple’s new Watch SE 3 is now available for just $219 at Amazon, meaning every wrist hair in America is now just one click away from being oppressed by technology.

The latest SE 3, dubbed “the people’s Apple Watch” by Apple’s marketing department, brings formerly exclusive features to those who previously only dreamed of a slightly-less expensive rectangle on their arms. With an always-on display, on-device Siri, and the power to manage notifications via double tap or high-stakes wrist flick, the device is reportedly more revolutionary than the time Apple made the iPhone slightly larger.

“For years, my wrist has been naked and, frankly, pretty out of touch,” said Jason Lin, a local Target shopper, while comparing the 40mm and 44mm models. “Now, for just $219, my forearm can finally underachieve with the rest of the tech elite.”

Apple spokesperson Brittany Green assured customers, “While the SE 3 doesn’t read your blood oxygen or cure hypertension, it can absolutely vibrate at 2am to remind you to panic about your sleep apnea in real time. That’s innovation.”

Some early adopters are already embracing the new device. “It’s liberating,” said Apple enthusiast Marcus Boyd. “I can now leave my $1,200 iPhone in another room and check my spam calendar invites directly from my wrist—just the way Steve Jobs intended.”

At press time, medical experts warned that for $30 more, consumers could expose their wrists to even more features, just as soon as they remember where they left their iPhones.