• Politics

Trump Assures Iranian Protesters That U.S. Support Will Arrive ‘Any Minute Now, Just Hang Tight for a Couple Decades’

Buck MulliganJanuary 14, 2026

Donald Trump issued a bold promise to Iranian protesters that help from the United States is imminent, though sources confirm it largely consists of social media encouragement and patriotic merchandise.

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• Entertainment

Julio Iglesias Accused of Operating World’s First Luxury Harassment Resort: ‘Humiliation Packages Were All-Inclusive,’ Say Former Staff

Buck MulliganJanuary 14, 2026

Spanish singer Julio Iglesias has been accused by former employees of turning his Caribbean mansions into lavish sites of harassment and humiliation.

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• Economy

GameStop Unveils Bold New Strategy: Close Every Store, Hope for $100 Billion Market Cap Anyway

Buck MulliganJanuary 12, 2026

GameStop announces plans to close over 400 stores in a continued push to cut costs and reach a $100 billion market cap, with CEO Ryan Cohen potentially earning $35 billion in stock options if the company succeeds.

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• Politics

Trump Declares Self Emperor Of Venezuela, Offers Citizenship To Mar-A-Lago Members

Buck MulliganJanuary 12, 2026

Donald Trump declared himself Emperor of Venezuela after a dramatic US-led abduction of Nicolás Maduro, promising American companies and Mar-a-Lago members special access to the country's resources.

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• Politics

Trump Declares Venezuela ‘Newest U.S. State,’ Assigns Eric Trump as Provisional Governor and Chief Oil Taster

Buck MulliganJanuary 11, 2026

Donald Trump declares Venezuela the 51st U.S. state after seizing its president and appointing Eric Trump as provisional governor and chief oil taster.

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• Politics

ICE Agents Now Authorized To Open Fire On Anyone Appearing Threatening, Including Women Holding Yoga Mats

Buck MulliganJanuary 9, 2026

Trump and Governor Noem publicly defend an ICE agent who fatally shot a Minneapolis woman, citing expanded definitions of national security threats.

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• Entertainment

Emmy Winner Attempts Bold New Genre: Chess-Themed Film With Absolutely No Chess In It

Buck MulliganJanuary 9, 2026

Emmy-winning director Bridget Stokes announces her genre-bending detective film 'Zugzwang,' which features no actual chess content despite the chess-themed title.

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• Sport

Tennis Tournament Organizers Admit Wildcard Spot Should Not Have Gone to Random Woman From Nearby Starbucks

Buck MulliganJanuary 9, 2026

A professional tennis tournament accidentally gives its wildcard entry to a Starbucks barista, leading organizers to admit errors after her viral, disastrous performance.

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• Politics

Minnesota Governor Decides Two Terms of Scandal Management Are ‘Character Building Enough,’ Opts for New Career in Witness Protection

Buck MulliganJanuary 6, 2026

Minnesota Governor Tim Walz announces he will not seek a third term, citing burnout from scandal management after widespread social services fraud controversies.

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• Entertainment

Drake Allegedly Pays Artificial Intelligence Army in Casino Winnings to Listen to Own Music, Still Not Top Artist on Spotify

Buck MulliganJanuary 6, 2026

Drake and Adin Ross are accused in a lawsuit of using online casino funds to pay for bots that artificially inflate Drake's music streams.

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