• Politics

EU Promises to Defend Spain from Trump’s Threats, Deploys Highly Trained Bureaucrats Armed with Sternly Worded Letters

Buck MulliganMarch 5, 2026

The EU responds to Trump's threats against Spain by promising solidarity, deploying bureaucrats, and preparing an unprecedented barrage of official letters.

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• Politics

Trump Vows to Restore America’s Proud Tradition of Chaotic, Improvised Child Care Payments

Buck MulliganMarch 5, 2026

The Trump campaign proposes repealing a Biden-era rule that standardized child care subsidy payments, promising a return to more chaotic and mysterious payment systems.

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• Politics

JPMorgan CEO Admits Denying Trump Bank Account ‘Feels Kinda Good,’ Offers Complimentary Checkbook From Wells Fargo Instead

Buck MulliganMarch 4, 2026

JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon dismissed Trump's $5 billion lawsuit over being debanked, jokingly offering alternative banking options and commemorative checkbooks.

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• Economy

UK To Combat Climate Change Abroad By Simply Not Going There Anymore

Buck MulliganMarch 3, 2026

The UK announces major cuts to its international climate aid programs, justifying reduced spending with a new 'hands-off' approach to biodiversity protection abroad.

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• Politics

U.S. Offers Generous Health Aid to Africa in Exchange for Entire Human Genome, Last Slice of Dignity

Buck MulliganMarch 3, 2026

Zimbabwe and Kenya have rejected U.S. health aid deals over demands to hand over vast biological data and resources, sparking outrage over the terms.

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• Sport

US Unveils Cutting-Edge Health Aid Deal: Free Band-Aids for Zambia in Exchange for All Their Copper

Buck MulliganMarch 3, 2026

A leaked US-Zambia health aid deal requires Zambia to share data, meet US-set targets, and grant mining access in exchange for minimal health resources.

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• Economy
• Politics

BREAKING NEWS!! The world is run by stupid children.

Buck MulliganMarch 2, 2026

In an unprecedented revelation, it turns out that all the leaders of countries and captains of industry are actually particularly unintelligent children. This shocking discovery explains the baffling decisions and global chaos we've witnessed lately, from botched policies to inexplicable corporate strategies.

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• Politics

Democrat Who Corrects Republicans Online Declared ‘Shadow Speaker of the House’ by Internet Comment Section

Buck MulliganMarch 2, 2026

Internet sensation Isaiah Martin inspires Democrats to consider standing up to Republicans after being unofficially named 'Shadow Speaker of the House' by online supporters.

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• Economy

Hank Green Announces New ‘Billionaire Adoption Program’ for Educational Videos: ‘Take My Content, Please, Elon!’

Buck MulliganFebruary 24, 2026

Hank Green has opened Complexly’s doors to billionaire donations, promising tailored educational content—potentially about yachts, Mars, or generational wealth—in exchange for philanthropic dollars.

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• Politics

Trump Threatens Netflix With ‘No More Password Sharing’ Unless Susan Rice Removed From Board Immediately

Buck MulliganFebruary 23, 2026

Donald Trump threatened Netflix with unspecified 'consequences' unless it removes Susan Rice from its board, as the streaming company pursues a Warner Bros Discovery takeover.

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