• Politics

Reform UK Denies ‘Creative Accounting’ After Expenses for Farage’s Campaign Include £4 Million for ‘Broken Brexit Promises’ Repairs

Chester P. NonsenseDecember 9, 2025

Police investigate Reform UK after allegations the party filed bizarre and possibly false campaign expenses during Nigel Farage’s parliamentary run in Clacton.

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• Politics

EPA Unveils ‘Toxins For Tots’ Program, Prompting Outrage From Make America Healthy Again Movement

Chester P. NonsenseDecember 8, 2025

The Make America Healthy Again movement calls for EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin's resignation after the Trump administration aggressively rolls back toxic chemical regulations, sparking a feud over environmental policy.

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• Politics

Trump Declares 2026 World Cup Draw ‘Bigger Than Moon Landing’, Assumes Credit for Soccer’s Invention

Chester P. NonsenseDecember 7, 2025

Former President Trump claimed responsibility for the 2026 World Cup draw’s global success and, by extension, the very invention of soccer while addressing Republican lawmakers at a White House event.

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• Technology

New York Times Sues Perplexity AI for Stealing Sacred Task of Rewriting AP Copy Slightly

Chester P. NonsenseDecember 6, 2025

The New York Times has sued Perplexity AI for allegedly copying its journalism nearly word-for-word and threatening the paper's centuries-old revenue model of slightly rephrased news.

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• Entertainment

Netflix Buys Warner Bros. For $83 Billion, Announces Plan To Merge Every Movie Into One Never-Ending Series

Chester P. NonsenseDecember 6, 2025

Netflix has acquired Warner Bros. Discovery for $83 billion, merging all their properties into one massive streaming universe while regulators and viewers struggle to keep up.

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• Entertainment

Art Basel Miami Unleashes Robot Dogs with Tech Billionaire Heads, Sparks Existential Crisis

Chester P. NonsenseDecember 5, 2025

At Art Basel Miami, robot dogs sporting the heads of famous tech billionaires roam the exhibition halls, sparking a hilarious and bewildering artistic spectacle. Visitors reportedly experienced a loop of confusion described as "art imitating life imitating art... sorry, got stuck in a loop."

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• Economy

Government Hails Economy’s ‘Incredible’ 0.4% Growth Surge, Promises to Celebrate with 0.4% Larger Cake

Chester P. NonsenseDecember 5, 2025

The Australian government celebrates a modest 0.4% quarterly GDP growth as a sign of explosive economic recovery, promising symbolic festivities to match the achievement.

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• Entertainment

Post Malone Vows to Debut New Music at Super Bowl—If He Can Remember Where He Put It

Chester P. NonsenseDecember 5, 2025

Post Malone announces he will debut new music during a Super Bowl weekend concert, though he appears unsure if the songs actually exist or where they might be located.

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• Politics

Elon Musk Announces Revolutionary New App: ‘Racist Posting Scheduler’ for Busy Billionaires on the Go

Chester P. NonsenseDecember 4, 2025

Elon Musk launches a 'Racist Posting Scheduler' app to automate inflammatory posts on X, promising to streamline the process of sharing far-right conspiracy theories and racist commentary.

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• Economy

Private Payrolls Vanish After Payrolls Realize No One Actually Knows What They Do

Chester P. NonsenseDecember 4, 2025

U.S. private payrolls unexpectedly dropped by 32,000 in November as confusion over job functions led to a mass vanishing of roles.

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