• Economy

Mandelson Claims Only Crime Was Having ‘Too Many Friends With Private Islands’ Amid Epstein File Fallout

Gloria HyperboleFebruary 25, 2026

Peter Mandelson has been arrested and released on bail after allegations that he leaked government emails and market-sensitive information to Jeffrey Epstein while serving as business secretary.

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• Sport

ESPN Hopes Hiring Andy Roddick Will Finally Convince America To Care About Tennis For At Least 12 Minutes

Gloria HyperboleFebruary 24, 2026

ESPN hires former tennis star Andy Roddick as a commentator in hopes of boosting American interest in tennis coverage.

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• Entertainment

Trump Demands Netflix Replace Susan Rice with Kid from ‘Stranger Things’, Citing ‘Better Ratings’

Gloria HyperboleFebruary 24, 2026

Donald Trump publicly demands Netflix replace Susan Rice with a 'Stranger Things' actor, prompting Netflix to issue a tongue-in-cheek response about board appointments.

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• Technology

Microsoft Announces Xbox Leadership Departures, Will Now Decide Future of Gaming by Magic 8-Ball

Gloria HyperboleFebruary 24, 2026

Xbox leaders Phil Spencer and Sarah Bond announce their departures from Microsoft, leaving the company’s gaming division to be led by CoreAI president Asha Sharma and possibly a Magic 8-Ball.

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• Sport

Matt Boldy’s Goal In Olympic Final Declared Fifth Official U.S. National Anthem

Gloria HyperboleFebruary 23, 2026

Matt Boldy's spectacular goal in the 2026 Olympic gold medal hockey game leads U.S. officials to declare it a new national anthem, sparking patriotic fervor and diplomatic confusion.

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• Technology

Americans Prepare for Black Friday in March as Pixel 10A Launches with Free $100 That You Must Spend on More Gadgets

Gloria HyperboleFebruary 23, 2026

Google's release of the Pixel 10A with a $100 gift card has sparked nationwide excitement and led consumers to reevaluate the true price of owning basic electronics.

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• Politics

Trump Announces 15% Tariff on All Imports, Including Foreign Concepts Like Math and Rainbows

Gloria HyperboleFebruary 22, 2026

After the Supreme Court blocked his previous trade policy, Trump raises tariffs on all imports to 15% and vows to tax foreign concepts and items.

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• Technology

Nation’s Readers Celebrate Annual E-Reader Olympics: Kindle Paperwhite Wins Gold For Allowing Consumers To Buy More Books They Won’t Read

Gloria HyperboleFebruary 22, 2026

The Kindle Paperwhite is crowned the best e-reader for helping consumers accumulate digital libraries of unread books, as competitors introduce ever-more features to further distract readers from actually finishing anything.

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• Politics

Supreme Court Destroys Ancient American Tradition Of Spitefully Taxing Foreign Cheese

Gloria HyperboleFebruary 21, 2026

The Supreme Court rules that Donald Trump’s sweeping global tariffs were illegal, overturning his administration’s trade policies.

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• Politics

UK Grants Asylum to Alleged Mexican Embezzler, Citing ‘Rich Cultural Tradition of Harboring Dubious Foreign Money’

Gloria HyperboleFebruary 19, 2026

The UK has granted asylum to Karime Macías, ex-wife of a former Mexican governor accused of embezzling public funds, prompting outrage from Mexican officials.

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