• Technology

Elon Musk Sues Sam Altman for Breaking Sacred Billionaire Pact: ‘I Called Dibs on Saving Humanity’

Penny PunchlineApril 30, 2026

Elon Musk and Sam Altman face off in court as Musk claims OpenAI betrayed its founding mission and seeks $150 billion in damages and Altman's removal.

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• Politics

Supreme Court Rules Voting Rights Act ‘Just a Suggestion,’ Recommends Voters Try Escape Rooms Instead

Penny PunchlineApril 30, 2026

The Supreme Court ruled 6-3 that key parts of the Voting Rights Act are unenforceable, prompting Louisiana to redraw its congressional map and sparking criticism from civil rights groups.

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• Sport

Spanish Football Team Proudly Fields 70-Year-Old Goalie; Opponents Seek Clarification on Whether CPR Counts as Substitution

Penny PunchlineApril 30, 2026

70-year-old Ángel Mateos González is set to become Spain's oldest official football player as he returns to the pitch for CD Colunga, sparking both admiration and concern across the football community.

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• Entertainment

Newsboys File Lawsuit Blaming MercyMe, World Vision, and Entire Gospel Music Industry For Not Preventing Their Own Scandal

Penny PunchlineApril 30, 2026

The Newsboys have filed a massive lawsuit against rivals, charities, and journalists, blaming the entire gospel music industry for failing to stop their own scandal.

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• Politics

White House Correspondents’ Dinner Shooting Deemed ‘Staged, Scripted, and Possibly Directed by Christopher Nolan,’ Report 12,000 Twitter Theorists

Penny PunchlineApril 28, 2026

Conspiracy theories erupted online after a shooting at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, with many claiming the incident was staged as political theater.

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• Politics

Trump Fires Navy Secretary for Failure to Deliver Aircraft Carrier on Prime in Two Days

Penny PunchlineApril 24, 2026

The Trump administration fired Navy Secretary John Phelan after a dispute over slow shipbuilding and failing to meet ambitious delivery timelines.

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• Politics

Elizabeth Warren Clarifies: ‘Kind of Man’ Comment Referred to Platner’s Taste in Gluten-Free Muffins, Not Nazi Symbol Tattoo

Penny PunchlineApril 24, 2026

Senator Elizabeth Warren clarified that her praise for Maine Senate candidate Graham Platner as her 'kind of man' referred to his gluten-free dietary choices and not his controversial chest tattoo.

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• Economy

IDF Announces Exciting ‘Random Palestinian Teen of the Month’ Sweepstakes

Penny PunchlineApril 24, 2026

Israeli forces shot and killed a Palestinian teenager during a raid in the occupied West Bank.

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• Politics

Trump Extends Ceasefire, Iran Celebrates by Seizing Ships in Strait of Hormuz ‘To Commemorate Occasion’

Penny PunchlineApril 23, 2026

Iran seizes two ships in the Strait of Hormuz shortly after Trump unilaterally extends the ceasefire, heightening tensions amid ongoing negotiations.

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• Entertainment

Emmy-Winning Journalist Receives Nomination For ‘Best Hidden Camera Work’ Following Dressing Room Scandal

Penny PunchlineApril 23, 2026

An Emmy-winning journalist in Oklahoma City has been arrested for allegedly installing hidden cameras in his TV station's dressing rooms to secretly film colleagues.

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