In a move analysts are calling “either visionary or the result of chronic Earth-based NIMBY PTSD,” Cisco CEO Chuck Robbins announced today an ambitious plan to launch data centers into outer space. The goal: finally escape the inconvenience of local residents who, for mysterious reasons, do not want 50,000-square-foot humming server barns next to their kid’s Little League field.

“It solves everything,” claimed Robbins at a press conference held inside a simulated zero-gravity WeWork. “Unlimited solar energy, no zoning permits, and if anything overheats, we just open the hatch.”

Industry insiders are cautiously optimistic. “Honestly, I’m just relieved we won’t have to run another ‘AI Data Center Coming To Your Neighborhood’ public hearing,” sighed Cisco VP of Community Relations Ryan Quibble. “I’m not saying we’re giving up on Earth, but if one more retiree asks me about property values, I’m building a rocket myself.”

SpaceX CEO Elon Musk reportedly welcomed Robbins to the fray. “Chuck gets it,” Musk tweeted. “The only thing better than broadband is spaceband. Now let’s see if we can get Wi-Fi on Mars before we get it reliably in rural Ohio.”

Meanwhile, environmental advocates expressed cautious approval, with Greenpeace spokesperson Alexa Moonbeam stating, “We are thrilled to finally send the cloud to the actual clouds. Now if only they could do something about all the crypto-mining on Venus.”

Robbins remains unfazed by technical hurdles. “If we can invent AI, I’m pretty sure we can figure out how to keep the servers from being eaten by cosmic rays,” he said. “And if not, we’ll just blame it on the Russians. It’s tradition.”