SYDNEY—In a revelation that has baffled legal experts and the entire criminal justice system, it was discovered this week that Julian Ingram—a man with a record of making explicit death threats, intimidation, and generally being a walking red flag—did not morph into a model citizen but instead allegedly committed a triple homicide last month.

Court documents, which apparently nobody thought to read until now, detail how Ingram, 37, threatened to “do in” a former partner and her entire family, declaring, “I’ve got a gun and a hole for the both of you,” in an effort to really hammer home his growth mindset. Despite these statements and a previous prison sentence for intimidation, the justice system believed Ingram might just be going through ‘an extended angsty phase.’

“We really thought a stern talking-to and a light custodial sentence would set him straight,” said Detective Marge Fenwick, leafing through a thick stack labeled ‘Extremely Concerning Threats—Filed Under Routine.’ “In retrospect, maybe we should’ve tried literally anything else.”

Legal analyst Trent Wobble observed, “It’s a valuable lesson in remembering that people who say, ‘I will kill you’ sometimes actually mean it, despite what our official guidebook says about the power of positive thinking.”

Local resident and self-appointed crime expert Garry Prattle added, “The real takeaway here is to never date a man who refers to himself by two names. It’s never good news.”

Authorities have promised to update their intervention policies to include ‘reading warning signs aloud’ at staff meetings, effective immediately.