MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA — Tech giant Google announced Tuesday that customers who preorder the brand-new Pixel 10A will receive a $100 gift card and a complimentary moment of buyer’s remorse, commemorating the annual tradition of buying a phone that is almost, but not quite, identical to last year’s model.

Available in four thrillingly muted colors—berry, fog, obsidian, and lavender—the $499 Pixel 10A promises bezels that are now 10 percent narrower, offering users an enhanced sense of imperceptible progress. Early adopters can choose between a $100 gift card at Amazon and Best Buy, or a pair of Pixel Buds 2A, which industry insiders have described as “fine.”

“We listened to consumers asking for revolutionary features, so we made the glass slightly stronger and the screen 11 percent brighter,” explained Google product manager Daphne Lau, adjusting her fog-colored glasses. “We also made sure not to include PixelSnap, so you’d have a reason to buy the Pixel 10 next year.”

Despite boasting the impressive Tensor G4 processor and 8GB of RAM, the 10A will not include certain AI features like Magic Cue or Pixel Screenshots, due to what Google referred to as “memory constraints and an abiding fear of cannibalizing our own product line.” “We believe in minimal innovation with maximum anticipation,” stated Google spokesperson Ryan Chip.

Some fans remain enthusiastic. “I can’t wait to trade in my Pixel 9A for $450, then spend $499 on what is basically the same phone,” said loyal customer Bella Gordon. “It’s the circle of life, but with more unboxing videos.”