In a stunning move that has left Wall Street analysts furiously updating their spreadsheets and existential philosophers questioning the nature of reality, Elon Musk announced today that the upcoming SpaceX IPO will officially crown him the world’s first ‘Trillionaire Emperor’—with a net worth soon to eclipse the GDP of several medium-sized planets.

Shares of SpaceX, now valued at a modest $2 trillion based on Muskian mathematics and the hope that Starlink will soon provide Wi-Fi to sentient rocks, are set to be automatically included in every human’s 401(k), Roth IRA, and grocery store loyalty program. The IPO documents reveal that Musk will retain 85% of voting shares, approval power over his own pay, and veto rights over, quote, ‘all laws of physics.’

‘Elon has shown us that corporate governance is for people who lack vision,’ said Pershing Index Fund manager Chad Noodleman, wearing a commemorative SpaceX helmet. ‘We’re just grateful he let us buy in. The guy basically invented Mars.’

According to the S-1, Musk’s compensation package unlocks when he establishes a Mars colony with at least one million verified users—a milestone ‘well within reach,’ says SpaceX board member Gwendolyn Overthrill, ‘assuming we can count the bots.’

Retail investors are reportedly excited about the chance to own a fraction of a SpaceX share and receive the limited-edition ‘X Premium’ badge. ‘I haven’t read the S-1, but I trust Elon’s tweets,’ said Robinhood power-user Taylor Munch. ‘He wouldn’t just make things up to get richer.’

The SEC was unavailable for comment, though sources say they are busy updating regulations to better reflect ‘inevitable Muskification’ of all capital markets.