BOSTON—In a stunning blow to President Trump’s ongoing crusade against what he described as “dangerously convenient democracy,” U.S. District Judge Marjorie Quibble issued a ruling Thursday blocking several key components of the executive order aimed at limiting mail-in voting. The decision comes as a major setback to the administration’s continued efforts to ensure voting remains a sometimes-lethal scavenger hunt.

“While we respect the right of every eligible citizen to vote, we draw the line at them doing it from the comfort of their own living room,” explained White House senior adviser Kip Stubbins, moments after White House staffers frantically shredded their backup plan to replace ballots with a new ‘American Gladiators’-inspired obstacle course at polling places.

Trump’s order, signed last week, included proposals to require all mailed ballots to be delivered via certified unicorn, a suggestion Judge Quibble described as ‘not within the scope of current postal operations or reality.’ The ruling also dismissed the administration’s new Ballot Vaporization Units, which were set to be installed at mailboxes across swing states.

In response to the ruling, Deputy Assistant Secretary of Paper Management, Brenda Tuffet, confirmed the administration will appeal, and is “exploring legislative options to ban envelopes, stamps, and possibly fingers.”

Local Massachusetts voter Chad Blintz, who accidentally received a dozen absentee ballots addressed to ‘Current Resident,’ shrugged, saying, “At this point, I’m just trying to vote in peace without a passenger pigeon, a notary public, and a blood oath.”