HOLLYWOOD BEACH, FL—In a bold move to differentiate itself in the crowded vacation market, Margaritaville Hollywood Beach Resort has unveiled its newest amenity: the ‘Kidnap & Torture Experience,’ described as ‘the ultimate escape room for adrenaline junkies.’

According to FBI officials, six independent contractors—identified only as “Florida Men”—recently piloted the new guest experience by forcibly abducting two unsuspecting vacationers at gunpoint, transporting them to the scenic John U. Lloyd boat ramp, and demanding payment while simultaneously providing a crash course in blindfolded navigation and advanced negotiation techniques.

“Some guests just want more than a free breakfast buffet and a pool noodle,” claimed resort marketing director Linda Spritzer. “We saw an untapped market for thrill-seekers who feel water slides, karaoke, and overpriced margaritas don’t offer enough existential terror.”

As news of the immersive event spread, some guests expressed excitement. “Honestly, it was the most authentic Florida experience I’ve ever had,” said George Fletcherson, who witnessed the abduction from his cabana. “They even let the gators watch!”

Others were more skeptical. “I was just looking for some sun and a little Jimmy Buffett,” stated vacationer Susan Nachman. “Next thing I know, there’s a guy in cargo shorts yelling about Venmo and duct-taping my neighbor. Three stars—would not recommend, unless you’re really into Stockholm syndrome.”

The resort is considering offering kidnapping upgrades, such as an alligator pit challenge and a complimentary ransom negotiation with local law enforcement, pending guest feedback and possible FBI regulations.