NEW YORK CITY — Tech giant Google has officially announced its next Made by Google launch event, set for August 12th at 6PM ET, where the company will unveil the highly anticipated Pixel 11—rumored to be the thinnest smartphone ever created, possibly approaching two-dimensional existence.

While prior Pixel phones have historically struggled to differentiate themselves from their competitors, insiders say the Pixel 11 will shatter expectations by reducing hardware to the barest conceivable minimum. “We wanted to create a phone you could accidentally lose between the pages of a paperback novel,” said Pixel lead designer Avery Salinas, balancing a demo model delicately on the edge of a business card. “You can slip it under a door, use it as a bookmark, or if you’re feeling dangerous, as a makeshift shiv.”

The company’s invitation, sent to select media, includes an animation teasing a gold Pixel 11, though industry analysts speculate whether consumers will be able to perceive the device without squinting. “Our engineers had to measure the bezels using CERN particle detectors,” claimed spokesperson Daria Lin. “We’re not saying the phone violates the laws of physics, but we’re not not saying it.”

Early leaks also reveal the camera bar’s bold, solid black design and a Pixel 11 Pro so thin that Google recommends storing it between two slices of Wonder Bread for safekeeping. Event attendee and Google enthusiast Carl Fester told reporters, “I plan to buy three in case the wind blows my first two away.”

The launch event’s unusual evening timing is reportedly so the sun’s rays don’t accidentally refract around the device, rendering it observable only to theoretical physicists.