Calls for Maine Democratic Senate candidate Graham Platner to drop out of the race reached a fever pitch Monday as party leaders demanded not only his withdrawal, but also the immediate surrender of all campaign assets—including flyer templates, the password to @PlatnerForMaine, and his well-used Staples Rewards Card.

Platner, who faces allegations of sexual assault which he categorically denies, issued a statement from the back of his campaign van, insisting he still had ‘at least two debates and one pancake breakfast left.’ ‘I owe it to the people of Maine to see this through,’ Platner said, clinging to a handful of “Vote Platner” yard signs and what sources described as “mildly smudged” campaign buttons.

Democratic leaders nationwide have responded with rare unity. ‘It’s time for Graham to let go of his party-branded fleece vest and step aside for the good of democracy,’ said New England Democratic Chair, Gloria Ketchum. ‘We already changed the locks on the campaign HQ Keurig.’

Not all were convinced. Platner’s former treasurer, Tyler Donnelly, said, ‘Frankly, I’m just worried about who’s going to reimburse me for the Costco shrimp tray.’

Meanwhile, Republicans expressed concern. ‘If Platner drops out, we lose our favorite attack ad material,’ lamented Maine GOP strategist Brett Coulson. ‘Do you know how much stock footage of sad lobsters we bought for this?’

As of press time, Platner was reportedly seen Googling ‘How to un-laminate a campaign sign’ and ‘Where is John Edwards now.’